Forgiving someone else can be very hard. Thinking of someone I have to forgive is not very difficult, but I know that actually forgiving them will likely never happen.
I need to forgive my father for not wanting to be a part of my or my siblings' lives. My parents were divorced shortly after my brother was born, and we stopped seeing him when I was in grade 3, after he got remarried.
I remember in grade 3 around Father's Day, all the other kids were making presents for their dads, and I didn't want to make anything since I never saw my father anymore. The teacher's aide convinced me that since he lived in the area, I should call him and ask if I could make him a present. I called, and was told that he doesn't have any daughters, only sons (his new stepkids), and that I shouldn't call again. Needless to say, I was devastated, and my mom was livid. She tried to get the teacher's aide fired, and while she wasn't, she was transferred to another class.
After that, the next I heard from him was when I was 18, about to go to university. He contacted my uncle (his brother) and said to pass on the message that he would like to talk to us. My mom was suspicious that he only wanted to know whether I expected him to pay for part of my schooling. My siblings and I agreed that we would give my uncle my email address to pass on, and if he contacted me, I would share it with them. He never sent anything.
I know I still have a lot of anger towards him, and I would gladly love for him to contact me just so I could tell him to f- off. I know it's not entirely healthy for me, and that I should forgive him for my own happiness and move on, but I do feel that some things are unforgiveable. And this is one of them.
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